财新传媒 财新传媒

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最近国内喜剧界大帅哥张云雷栽了,因为他在汶川地震11周年纪念日的时候被人翻出来曾经公开拿汶川地震和“慰安妇”当笑话讲。
 
在一段相声里,张云雷介绍三个姐姐经常不来看自己,原因是嫁得太远了“大姐远嫁唐山,二姐远嫁汶川,三姐远嫁玉树”,“三个姐姐多有造化,都是幸存者”,“极限挑战嘛”。
 
另一个笑话说是张云雷去杨九郎家,其母亲告知“杨九郎去部队慰安了”,然后扯了一段兵哥哥人数太多了得慰安死这样的低俗内容。
 
“文艺工作者作为公众人物,艺德应当是其构筑艺术生命的重要底色。”知名餐厅紫光阁表示。
 
随后张云雷通过微博发布道歉,“作为公众人物,不应当在表演中提及全体同胞的伤心事,这是对全体死难同胞的不尊重。”他说。
 
看完我都心疼他了,毕竟我最喜欢的喜剧演员安东尼·杰塞林克(Anthony Jeselnik)也是个大帅哥,尤其以暗黑笑话闻名,用梗极其刻薄狠毒,被粉丝赐以昵称“折寿孽”,但是就从来没有翻过车。
 
安东尼在推特上的自我介绍一栏写的是:
 
"Tall and trim, with the sculpted features of a model, Jeselnik appears far too handsome to be a comic"-The New York Times《纽约时报》:“身材高大又匀称,像个模特,作为一个喜剧演员,杰塞尼克看上去帅过头了。
 
看完我都想把我自己的介绍改成:
 
“Thin arm.”-The Associated Press(《美联社》曾经形容我有纤细的胳膊,作为肥宅深感荣幸。)
 
安东尼几年前曾经在一场脱口秀上聊过跟这次张云雷事件主题类似的内容,我把相关段落自行翻译了一下:
 
I don’t tell dark jokes because I’m a comedian.我不是因为自己是一个喜剧演员,所以讲暗黑段子。
 
I’m a comedian because I tell dark jokes.我是因为讲暗黑段子,所以成为了一个喜剧演员。
 
(然后他开始举例子证明自己是一个多么专业的暗黑段子小能手,甚至在奶奶的葬礼上他都把持不住自己飚段子的欲望。)
 
For instance, my grandmother actually did pass away, about six months ago. And I was asked to speak at her funeral, which was a horrible mistake.例如,我的奶奶确实在六个月前去世了。我被邀请在她的葬礼上发言,这是一个可怕的错误。
 
I walked up and was like, “you know what my favourite memory was? When I was like four years old, before I learned to read, grandma would curl up with me on the couch, she had this Souther accent, and she woulf read to me. She would read Mark Twain to me, and I loved it, like Mark Twain out of my grandma’s mouth, it would just come to life.”我走上台说:“你知道我最喜欢的(关于奶奶的)往事是什么吗?我四岁的时候,还没学会读书,奶奶就会和我一起蜷缩在沙发上,她说话带着南方口音,她会读书给我听。她会给我读马克·吐温的作品,我很喜欢,马克·吐温的作品从我奶奶嘴里说出来,就会鲜活起来。”
 
“And I know my grandma loved it too, because it combined her two favourite things: spending time with her grandchildren, and using the ‘N’ word.”“我知道我奶奶也很喜欢这个往事,因为它结合了她最喜欢的两件事:和她的孙子共度时光,以及说出‘黑鬼’词。”
 
(这个段子的笑点在美国南方的人歧视黑人,但是作为一个西方文明人,说出Nigger(黑鬼)这个词是非常不礼貌的。)
 
I like to test myself by joking about horrible things.我喜欢拿可怕的事情开玩笑来测试自己。
 
One of my favorite ways to test myself, I like to make jokes about tragedies the day that they happen.我最喜欢的测试自己的方法之一,我喜欢在悲剧发生的当天拿它开玩笑。
 
And I'm good at it, like the day of the Aurora, Colorado Batman movie theater shooting. The day it happened, I went on line, I went on Twitter and I tweeted “other than that, how was the movie?”我很擅长,就像在科罗拉多州奥罗拉市电影院正在上映蝙蝠侠电影时发生枪击事件那天。事情发生的那天,我上网,登录推特,然后发推特说“除了那个,电影怎么样?”
 
(2012年7月20日,美国科罗拉多州奥罗拉市的一家电影院在午夜放映电影《蝙蝠侠:黑暗骑士崛起》时发生大规模枪击案,犯罪分子引爆了催泪弹,并用多支枪向观众射击,造成12人死亡,70人受伤。
 
所以安东尼在悲剧当天发这种找死的推特竟然没有哭着公开道歉?)
 
The reason I get away with stuff like that is I’m the guy who does it.我之所以能逃过惩罚,是因为我就是干这种事的人。
 
People are used to it for me, it would be weird if I didn't make a joke, the day of a tragedy.对于我来说,人们已经习惯了,如果我在悲剧发生的那天不编个段子,那就太奇怪了。
 
Which is why I was very surprised when I got in a lot of trouble the day of the Boston Marathon. 这就是为什么当我在波士顿马拉松事件那天遇到很多麻烦时,我感到非常惊讶。
 
(2013年4月15日,在一年一度的波士顿马拉松比赛中,两枚自制高压锅炸弹在终点附近被引爆,事故导致3人死亡,数百人受伤。)
 
Now I don't follow the news regularly, but I know the second a tragedy happens, because I got twenty five text messages saying, “don't do it.”现在我不经常关注新闻,但我知道悲剧发生的那刻,因为我收到了25条短信,上面写着“不要那样做”。(指让他别上网乱发段子)
 
Whenever I see that, it makes me sad, because I know something horrible has happened. People will say, “Anthony, what’s funny about Aurora? What’s funny about the Boston Marathon? What’s funny about your grandmother’s funeral?” Nothing! Nothing is funny about those things, that's where I come in.每当我看到这些,我都很难过,因为我知道发生了一些可怕的事情。人们会说,“安东尼,奥罗拉事件有什么好笑的?波士顿马拉松事件有什么好笑的?你奶奶的葬礼有什么好笑的?”没有!正因为这些事情一点都不有趣,所以我该登场了。
 
So I see these texts and I’m like, “Oh, no, what happened?” But I also think, “I’ve got a job to do.”所以当我看到这些短信时,我会想,“哦,不,发生了什么事?”我也会想,“我有活要干了。”
 
So I go online and start reading about it. I don't want to watch the footage but I’ll read about what happened and I think, “how can I make someone laugh today?” And then I think, “I got it.”所以我上网开始了解这件事,我会看看发生了什么,然后我想,“今天我怎么才能让别人笑?”然后我想,“我明白了。”
 
I go back on Twitter, and I tweet, “Guys,today, there are just some lines that should not be crossed. Especially the finish line.”我回到推特上,发推文说:“伙计们,今天,有些界限是不应该跨越的。尤其是终点线。”
 
But then my phone start to ring, and it's my boss. Or should I say my former boss. And they say “Anthony, this is unacceptable. You are not just a comedian today. You’re also the host of your own TV show, with your name in the title, on our network. You take this joke down right now or you are fired.”但是随后我的电话响了,是我老板打来的,或者我应该叫他前老板。他们说“安东尼,这是不可接受的。你今天不只是一个喜剧演员,你也是你自己的电视节目的主持人,你的名字在节目标题里,在我们的网站上。如果你现在不把这个笑话删掉,你就会被解雇。”
 
And I say, “Go fuck yourselves.”我说,“去你妈的。”
 
They said, “Well, Anthony, you don't understand. If you don't delete this joke right now, not only are you fired, but the entire cast and crew of your television show, about a hundred people, they are also out of a job.”他们说:“安东尼,你不明白。如果你现在不删除这个笑话,你不仅会被解雇,你的电视节目的全体演员和工作人员,大约100人,也会失业。”
 
And I'm ashamed to tell you this. I'm embarrassed to admit it. But in that moment, I folded, and I deleted the joke. Because I'm happy to fight for what I believe in. I’m happy to take the consequences for what I’ve done. But what I could not do, is walking to my cameraman, and say “Hey, buddy, no work for you on Monday. I had this sweet tweet.”我很不好意思告诉你们。我不好意思承认。但在那一刻,我放弃了,我删除了那个笑话。因为我很乐意为我的信仰而奋斗。我愿意为我所做的一切承担后果。但我不能做的是,走到我的摄影师面前,对他说:“嘿,伙计,星期一你不用工作,因为我发了这条很酷的推特。”
 
But as soon as I hit delete, I got mad and I regretted it. I would fire every single one of those fucking assholes now, I’ll tell you that. And I got mad for betraying myself and everything I believe in.但是当我一点击删除,我就抓狂了,我后悔了。我会把那些混蛋都炒了。我因为背叛了自己和我所信仰的一切而抓狂。
 
They said, “Anthony, the problem is when you make a joke on Twitter the day of a tragedy, it seems like you're making fun of the victims, and that's wrong.”他们说,“安东尼,问题是当你在悲剧发生的那天在推特上开玩笑时,你似乎在取笑受害者,这是错误的。”
 
But that’s not what I’m doing. Because, you see, the day of a tragedy, victims are not on Twitter. 但这不是我要做的。因为,你们看,悲剧发生的那天,受害者并不在Twitter上。
 
The day of a tragedy, victims have got victim shit to do. No one is ever putting on a tourniquet,  asking “Hey, are we trending?” No. This is who I’m making fun of when I make a joke on Twitter the day of a tragedy. The people who see something horrible happen in the world, and they run to the internet. And they run to the social media, Facebook, Twitter, whatever they got. And they all write down the exact same thing: “My thoughts and prayers with the people in Aurora.” “My thoughts and prayers with the families in Boston.” Do you know what that is worth? Fucking nothing. 在悲剧发生的那一天,受害者有受害者的事要做。没有人会戴着止血带,问自己“嘿,我们上热门了吗?”没有。我在悲剧发生的那天在推特上开玩笑,是针对那些看到世界上发生可怕事情之后,跑到互联网上的人。他们跑到社交媒体,Facebook,Twitter上,他们都写下了同样的话:“我的祝福与祈祷”。“我的祝福与祈祷,与奥罗拉人民同在。”“我的祝福与祈祷,与奥罗拉人民波士顿的家庭同在。”你们知道这样做有什么意义吗?根本没啥屁用。
 
You are not giving any of your time, your money or even your compassion. All you are doing is saying, “Don't forget about me today.” “Lots of crazy distractions in the news right now, but don't forget how sad I am.” Those people are worthless and they deserve to be made fun of. They’re like a wedding photographer who only takes selfies.你没有付出任何时间、金钱,甚至同情心。你所做的一切其实只是在说:“今天也别忘了我哟。”“虽然会被新闻里的很多糟心内容干扰,但别忘了我有多悲伤。”这些人毫无价值,他们活该被取笑。他们就像只会自拍的婚礼摄影师。
 
所以,张云雷应该为地震段子道歉吗?
 
应该。
 
因为他的段子没意思
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财新传媒前环境与科技记者;澎湃新闻和知识分子特约撰稿人

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